I was just reading my old blog and I remembered the many things God has done for me and how He brought me back to Him.
The truth is no one deserves salvation in the first place. But I think I was/am even less deserving than others -- why would have God received me again? What did He see in me?
I first came to know God when I was 11. Since then I have never stopped attending churches. When I was in secondary school, I told God I'd give my life to Him. Even when I was away from home to further study in Melaka, I found myself a church to be rooted in; and not only I attended Sunday services, but cell groups and different meetings. I went for mission trips in uni. I was one in the team when the first uni CF was found. When I was back to my home church, I continued to serve in the worship team, almost every Sunday.
People would know me as a "spiritual" person. But at one point my relationship with God fell to the lowest pit. My prayer and word life was zero. I made choices that deliberately went against God.
I was a person who tasted God's grace but insulted it (read Hebrews 10:29). I wouldn't think that I deserved forgiveness.
and I am no longer worthy to be called your son.Luke 15:19a NKJV
The truth is no one deserves salvation in the first place. But I think I was/am even less deserving than others -- why would have God received me again? What did He see in me?
But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.Luke 15:20b NKJV
By the grace of God He led me back to Himself and restored me. It was a long story -- I was given chances to repent and make things right. Today I can be at peace with God and I'm given many opportunities to serve. Honestly I wouldn't think I'm worthy to serve in this manner, but I thank God for His grace. And as I am typing this, I am not having any form of condemnation or self-loath, but amazement of God's over-abounding love.
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.Galatians 2:20 NKJV
And now, I can no longer live for myself.